Treasure Tail

Story in One Sentence

A boy. A girl. A treasure map.

Story Synopsis

In this action/adventure romantic comedy with a deliberate pun for a title, Miklos Iannios is running for his life down the waterfront of a Caribbean port, dodging bullets as he runs. He is pursued by two enforcers for the Greek mafia who are doing the shooting. He carries a bundle held close to his chest as glass, brick, and wood splinter around him as he runs.

Miklos ducks into a peculiar shop, a combination taxidermy and tattoo parlor. He gestures to Jimmy, the proprietor, clearly a friend, as he shuts the door, locks it, and pulls down a window shade. "The backroom, Jimmy," he pants. "I need a little favor."

In the back room, Miklos pushes the contents of a workbench aside to the voiced complaints of his friend. Miklos lays the bundle down and opens it. Surprise! Miklos reveals that the bundle contains a cute little girl, not more than 18 months old, if that.

As the bad guys break in the front door, Miklos pulls out a weathered piece of decaying parchment. He hands it to his friend. "I want you to put this... here" then rolls the little girl over, pulls down her diaper, and points to her rear end. He pulls over a small mirror on a stand and says "Use this, so she can read it when she's older" Holding up the parchment, he says "Then, burn the map. I'll be back in two hours. If anything happens to me, you'll take care of her." A statement of understanding between them of a past debt. "I owe you my life. Of course." Miklos pushes a thick envelope filled with cash into Jimmy's hands. "For your expenses, and if I don't make it back."

As the sounds of breaking window glass rip through the place, Miklos heads out the back. Jimmy folds the parchment into a small square, stuffs it into the diaper, and conceals it as the two enforcers push their way inside. "Hey, I'm changin' a diaper here," he complains. The bad guys rush out the back, but they fail to find Miklos.

Now it's 20 years later. The little girl with the nickname of "Carta" is grown up, the long gone father is presumed dead, and Carta doesn't know the meaning of the strange tattooed design on her backside. The faithful "Uncle Jimmy" she was raised by doesn't know the truth, either. But young Charlie Matson does. He has somehow learned the secret of the "treasure tale" and he wants it. He has a cell phone camera. All he needs is a close shot of the young lady's... assets.

But there's a complication. The gorgeous, well-built young lady has a date... with a nunnery. That's right... in less than two weeks, Carta's going to take vows for a lifetime of service in an obscure order of nuns. No one, let alone Charlie, will ever get a glimpse of that gorgeous treasure map again.

So the hilarious yet poignant race is on for Charlie to woo the girl, get a clear shot of the treasure map, and then find the $50 million in Spanish doubloons that lie in a lost sunken Spanish galleon. Along the way, Charlie falls hard for the girl. It becomes a battle of wits, truth, and love -- and not necessarily in that order -- as the Greek mafia remembers the map and wants in on the treasure.